Dear Mr St James,
or should I call you Ray?
May I commend your poetry
on this rather fine day,
From twice a Proclaimers’ distance
you dispatched affection to your wife,
And with that eloquent utterance
Injected LOLs into your daughters life.
Victoria Park, with the invasion in the distance.
If you go down to the park today
You’re sure of a big surprise
They’ve gone and built a giant wall
You’ll never believe your eyes.
For every local that ever there was
Will never get in for certain because;
Today’s the day the corporates have their picnic.
Every corporate that’s been good,
*laugh* and all of the others too,
Will have lots of wonderful things to eat
And a country of people to screw.
Beneath the trees, where nobody sees,
They’ll plan and plot as long as they please,
Today’s the day the corporates have their picnic.
If you go down to the park today,
You’d better not go alone.
If they kettle you they’ll take your things,
So don’t even bring your phone.
For every cop that ever there was;
Is protecting the rich for certain, because;
Today’s the day the corporates have their picnic.
Welcome to the Church,
The mall has been renamed.
We recognise your guilt,
So spend away your shame.
Welcome to the Church,
We cater for all creeds.
We sell all the latest fads,
And things you’ll never need.
Welcome to the Church,
Please spend away.
We’ve spared no expense,
To help prolong your stay.
Welcome to the Church,
We sell everything you need.
Place your card upon the altar,
And help support our greed.
Welcome to the Church,
We’re a pantheistic union;
Agnostics and atheists too,
Can join with our communion.
Welcome to the Church,
We’ll be with you when you leave;
Our shops are on the internet,
Our tendrils help you believe.
Welcome to the Church,
We thank you for your support.
Your credit cards are overdue,
We’ll see you all in court.
Single stem design, William Morris (1834-96)
I left my brain in Malta,
Beside a sun-kissed shore,
And now I’m back in blighty
I can’t use it anymore.
The fountain at Victoria Park, West
Tyrrell’s crisps: ridged for pleasure
The Lost Pond in Epping Forest
Shall we investigate social media campaigns?
Some work; going viral, while others fail to permeate.
Good SEO does improve search engine rating fame
And proper linking doth increase the click-through rate.
Sometimes thing will turn against your planning
And at times attract negative attention
And like Kony2012, appear to achieve nothing
Be gracious, cherish every Twitter mention.
But hashtag wisely, let your campaign roam,
Do not forget to Storify as you roll and tumble
Do not measure success by *likes* alone.
When it comes to point where you might stumble:
If you’re unsure, subvert a meme, throw a kitteh in the mix,
If still unsure then sex-it-up with feminist Ryan Gosling pics.